PunnyFreak's Xanga

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 23:27:52 GMT

hey ppl, sorry tat i dint update my blog for three weeks..hehe, was really occupied lately....especially tryin to settle down in the middle of the jungle.Actually wanna introduce u all to my college...haha, its kolej yayasan uem........uem means united engineers malaysia...our rightful owner of this college...its situated in the middle of the jungle, in a verdant uplands.....with abandon bungalows.....and palm trees provide us with the "perfect" backdrop for a isolated college....furthermore, we have a golf course over here......oh ya my college is in lembah beringin, and no kidding, its quite cool over here, no mosquitoes but a lot of insect and monkeys...especially durin the weekends where no one is around......and we have our own football field...with drainage system, it costs us around 1 million to get it resurface and upgrade...hopefully by then it's better than stadium bukit jalil!!!!!! anyway, my 50% of my lecturers are foreigners, mostly english....and a mixture of local lecturers of equal quality. and im stayin in a chalet with three other chalet mates....we have a common room with air-con and two toilets without heater.....by the way even though my college sound very nice, the food here really damn hot u noe, like wad merlin have said, they take it as salt......crazy man every meal so so spicy, u can see red chili every meal, feel like wanna puke sometimes...but many say if compare to boardin school standard, it's so much better....but to me, sorry to say dis to our chef (happens to be a qualified five star hotel chef) the food sucks!!!!

anyway, i will include some pictures for u all soon, kinda busy now, got assignment and homework to do......will continue to update here!!!

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:58:12 GMT

day four, sigh...........i really do miss u, i hav been thinkin for days, n i learn a lot, and realise that u r special to me, u r so understandin, caring and honest to me...i really miss those days where u r so outspoken, telling me everything, from those happy things to sad....i hav a lot to share with u, but lately when i wanna say somethin, i turn to my left and right only to realise that u r not here with me, such an emptiness in me....its different than talkin to my frens....argh....i really regret all that i hav done..its killin me i dun wan to lose u.......since yesterday, i really wanna grab the cigaratte to smoke whenever my frens smoke...they too are depress but al of then stop me from smokin, for the first time in my life, i feel that smokin does no harm to my body......im not feeling sad, but i hate myself for doin dis to u b.....i shud hav appreciate u more, but i din....and i regret it................four days...i have been drivin like mad, speedin, and drove to damai, lundu and seven mile....at the speed of 80-90 km........i like that but i was warned by my frens not to drive like that...and i have been listenin to my mp3..all my linkin park collection.....im like crazy guy havin fun playin around hangin out everyday...but in the end i still cant help thinkin of u...went to waterfron to have a chat with my bro, DJ.....and went to da lai to drink beer just now......its also the firsttime i drink beer not because i enjoy drinkin, but i wan to relieve my depression..but i do control myself from gettin drunk....i dun wan my parents to worry about me.....i do love them a lot, but i just dun feel like wanna tell them about this.....b: if u r readin this.....u mean a lot to me....but i wont wan to get u attached to me.....like u said no point gettin into a relationship when u cant be with ur other half......i wan u to enjoy ur teenage days......but still i wan to be in close contact with u....i will wait for u.......b i dun mean to disappoint u....i care about u..i dun mean hurtin u..........my days r numbered here.....i wan to hav a heart to heart talk with u.....but i respect wadever decision of urs...i hav to respect wad u want n not just about myself........

btw...i heard a story about long distance....its between our marketin ppl, vitcoria and her bf......they hav gone thru three years of long distance...she said it was not easy but she fully trust her bf that he wont do anythin that would hurt her....until now...they are in stable relationship.....goin to get married soon....so happy for them.

countdown......8 days to go b4 i go kl...sigh

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 13:52:44 GMT

if u ask me y i did that, i really dunno y....even though i think about it for days and nites....i dunno really dunno, im good in persuadin but i cant change the fact i have done the mistake.....

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 13:43:44 GMT

i really miss talkin to u, a lot of things happen to me lately, i dun wanna hurt u, but i just hav to wait wait wait for u....really i cant stand a day not talkin to u.................but i just hav to respect ur decision k? if u r reading this blog, i hope u will make d best decision.im sorry........

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 13:36:54 GMT

today was a long day to me............kinda think a lot lately........very depress but after talkin to my bro, i realised theat mebe i shud let go at the time being , dun force it, time will tell whether or not i will be forgiven. I really wish u could forgive me, i dun wanna be like this......i had done the mistake but i regretted it....three days alredi, and my days are numbered here, i really wish i can talk to u b4 i leave here, but then u r hav a lot to consider, i really wanna be there to help u...but then i cant... =( wish i can talk to u gal...i dun wan to do this to u, but i will wait till u wanna talk to me, i hope it will b b4 i leave kch..........i miss u honestly, not talkin to u make me realise that u r special to me......im not myself lately.....please forgive me

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 15:15:59 GMT

i wanna kill myself......argh

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 15:15:32 GMT

i dun understand im depress............wad can i do to redeem myself...i really care about u...please

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 15:10:20 GMT

wad a long long day, a lot of things happen lately that i hardly can pick myself up, i realise all these while i keep making mistakes i keep makin seince last year, i just understand y?y?y? i really hate myself i dunno y u noe, i think all these while i hav changed yet but in reality im still d same................i hate hate hate hate myself argh...cant forgive me, y i do dis to u...i dunno and i dun mean it, i shudnt do it as i promise u b4 and it really hurts....dun wanna lose u just like tat...i fully regretted it...after 18 years of my life i found u, and i shud hav repected and listened to u but i ignore it....regret it cant forgive myself.........im sorry.....please talk to me please....lord guide me please..i need u...more than ever..will u forgive me?

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 13:44:48 GMT

well.....i havn't blog for long so it's the time to update....ya as all u would noe this month is a eventful month....first thing is chinese new year!!! yeah and then geri, merlin, carine and joc are coming back...kinda happy tho and christina is coming back now.....i think she is in the plane now..anyway david is back....after two years...and of course my birthday....but i just ain't feeling happy not like wad i used to...normally the month of feb is a sacred month in my life.....among all 12 months....this year round it seems like i dun get the new year mood..and even tough i got my new comp....i'm just not happy dunno y...i hav everything with me but just dun feel the same....life has been great to me..enjoying my studies and spending a lot of quality time with my frens....i feel so different.....i dun look forward to cny anymore not dis year....sigh...wad's wrong with me??? am i not a chinese??? i'm not sure about my life now.....everything seems so unorganise feel so numb...so blur about things around me..............i hav no idea y i'm in such a mood....i dun understand y i has to happen to me???y??? all of the sudden i feel like new year has no meaning to me.....feel there's a emptiness in me.......unexplainable

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 01:58:55 GMT

hii...everyone..i noe it's kinda weird all of the sudden i wish to blog after not blogging 4 a month...well after three weeks in the year 2005....i somehow learned a lot about myself...i realised that i'm still unable to take care of myself dunno y...it's actually not unable but just lazy to jaga myself..but then i like to take care of other things...eg my fish...house.........it's kinda funny u noe..at this stage of the life we should be more independent but seriously i'm kinda not into it..dun feel like wanna grow up anymore coz the worst thing is coming to our life...after getting our degree...we are entering a new scary and hectic life....honestly i prefer living forever as a teenager rather than being an adult....i really enjoy studying......not other subjects but just electrical, electronics, and engineering mathematics....maybe some of u might think i'm a freak but hey...it's very interesting for me and i would rather study these three things forever..until i die than to be an adult....being a adult has a lot of pressure and i dun like pressure!!!! it's such a carefree life being in college...eventhough it's not going to be long....sigh maybe after a few months most probabaly after i got my spm result...and my Australian pr status..i'm going over to ANU college..(Australian National University) and stay there for the rest of my life!!!!sigh...it's so sad that after wad i call a eventful 2004...and i learned a lot of things about life particularly appreciating wad u hav and never ever complain in life......and i started to realise i'm one lucky guy...if not the luckiest guy in this world.....i hav wonderful frens....whom i call my family and i hav a great and comfortable life...i hav almost all the things that anyone would wan in life except money of course!!! i really do miss all my frens...especially those who are overseas now....guys if u r reading this...i like say that i miss all of u..and i love u all.....all of u hav been a great fren to me and i'm gladful that Father Lord has put us together and hav a really enjoyable time....u guys are like my family now...=) miss u all.............life has been wonderful for me..thank you guys...feel like wanna cry now...but hav to tahan..i'm in my college's library...hehe..curi online...just now i managed to finish one of the assignments our teacher give..wahliu so hard..but after half an hour i solved it..feel so happy...man i love engineering...but many ppl say no future 4 engineers bcoz we get lower pay and live a harder life...i dun really care about that..hehe..and my dad told me as long as i like engineering...he will fully support me and i'm not gonna dissapoint him and my buddies...frankly i wouldn't hav realised all these if particular "event" happen in my life...u guys should noe rite?...anyway sometimes it's true that the only way to achieve greater heights is to let go certain things...even though it's so hard to let go...wad is the past will always be the past....let's look to the future now..........to be continued